Cutie
by Koneko Cain
Summary: Yami is ill, and being a pain. Kaiba wants to murder him, and Yugi has to keep them from killing each other. Fluffy yaoi thing.


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nope.   
  
Warnings: Yaoi, humour (or my idea of it, at least...), poorly, crazy Yami, OOC, Stressed Kaiba, lime-ish stuff, flying cutlery and lots of yelling.  
  
Author: Koneko Shido, ruler of everything, MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!   
  
A/N: Cheesecake is great, I have now decided that it's the best food ever, and must be worshipped. Yup. But that has nothing to do with anything, really. As for this fic, it was inspired by my brother who is claiming to be ill and hallucinating, but I don't believe him in the slightest. The title is shamelessly nicked from a doujinshi. It also has very little to do with the actual fic. I could hardly call it 'Yami gets sick and then everyone decides to have sex', could I?   
  
Cutie!  
  
"How DARE you even suggest cough that I could cough be ILL?!?! I'll have you know cough that I was the greatest cough pharaoh in all of Egypt!!" Yami ranted, struggling madly as Kaiba slung him over one shoulder and carried him up the stairs like a sack of potatoes.  
  
"I demand RESPECT!!" Yami yelled, while Kaiba gritted his teeth and tried to cling to his last tiny shred of patience.  
  
"Shut up shut up shut up shut up," The CEO of Kaibacorp growled, kicking the door of his room open and striding in, then dumping the irate ex-pharaoh down on the bed, pinning him down by holding his upper arms and glaring at him. Yami glared back.  
  
From the doorway Yugi watched his two lovers exchange nasty looks of death, clinging to the glass of water and bottle of medicine Kaiba had told him to fetch. Yugi's darker half was ill, which would have been all right if not for a few important details. Firstly, Yami had decided that, since he was a pharaoh and supposedly descended from the gods themselves, it was therefore impossible for him to get ill and this was all some mistake. Basically he was in denial. Secondly, the dark spirit happened to be going through one of his more psychotic phases, not helped by his high fever. And lastly, he was in a bad mood with Kaiba because his crazed ranting had pissed the CEO off so much that he'd rammed the thermometer into Yami's mouth to shut him up and almost made him swallow it.   
  
Thus, poor little Yugi was trying his best to keep out of the way.  
  
"Medicine." Kaiba ordered, and Yugi reluctantly bought forward the disgusting-looking banana flavoured slime, setting the glass of water down on the bedside table and pouring out a spoonful of the chalky yellow goo.   
  
"O-open up, Yami," Yugi said, holding out the medicine nervously, in case Yami decided to bite his hand off or something.  
  
"Never!" Yami declared, folding his arms stubbornly and sitting up once Kaiba got off him.  
  
"Uh, p-please?" Yugi asked, looking worried as he watched Kaiba grit his teeth.  
  
"Hmph." Yami turned his head away like a spoiled two year old and Kaiba twitched.  
  
"Don't make me hurt you," the CEO threatened, looking scary. Yugi looked pleadingly at his darker half, making big, watery puppy-dog eyes and biting his lip as though he were about to burst into tears. Yami scowled.  
  
"What's in it?" He demanded, glaring at Kaiba.  
  
"I have no idea, do I look like a chemist?" Kaiba glared back.  
  
"You expect ME to take this cough 'medicine' and you don't even know what is cough in it? Do you take me for a FOOL?" Yami ranted.  
  
"YES!!!" Kaiba snarled, and Yugi thought about sneaking off to hide.  
  
"How DARE you-"  
  
"Just take the damned medicine before I ram it down your throat and really give you something to complain about!!" Kaiba cut him off, taking the spoon from Yugi.  
  
"Over my dead body!" Yami yelled, and Yugi decided that now would be a good time to leave the room.  
  
"Don't tempt me!" Kaiba yelled back, and Yugi made a quick exit before he could get caught in the crossfire. The last thing he heard, as he snuck out, was the angry gurgling choking noise of Yami getting a spoon full of banana medicine forced down his throat.  
  
Downstairs, Joey happened to have his head in the fridge, trying to annoy Kaiba by eating all his food. He heard a sigh behind him and closed the refrigerator door, turning to see Yugi sit himself wearily down in one of the chairs around the table in the middle of the room.  
  
"So how's he doing?" Joey asked, having helped drag Yami home from the amusement park after he began to look ill.  
  
"It's his own fault for eating so much cotton candy. He's annoyed Seto so much I think they're trying to kill each other." Yugi sighed again, resting his head on his folded arms.  
  
"He take the medicine?" Joey asked, pulling up a chair opposite his friend.  
  
"Not willingly. I don't know how Seto's going to get him to stay in bed until he recovers," Yugi worried, biting his lip.  
  
"They argue like this often?" Joey asked, wincing as he heard a loud crash and a thud from somewhere above him.  
  
"Oh, they enjoy it. Most of the time they argue just to be able to have make-up sex. I'm a little worried that they might actually kill each other this time, though."   
  
"Scary. An' I thought Malik and Bakura were freaky." Joey grinned, patting poor little Yugi on the shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"Hands off, mutt." Kaiba growled, striding into the room and leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, glaring coolly at Joey, who did his best to glare back.  
  
"Where's Yami? How did you get him to stay up there?" Yugi asked, getting up from his seat and looking very pale, visions of baseball bats and hockey sticks filling his mind.  
  
"Here." Kaiba smirked, throwing something to Yugi, who caught it and blinked.  
  
"What is it?" Joey asked, and Yugi turned to him, looking relieved and holding up a small key.  
  
"The key to the handcuffs." Yugi smiled.  
  
"I'm not even gonna ask." Joey shook his head, pausing at a noise from above.  
  
"LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!!!" Yami roared, continuing his angry tirade, punctuated by smashing sounds and sparks flying around the room.  
  
"Ok, well have fun. I gotta go... do stuff. Far away from here. Later!" Joey grinned, then ducked as a fork flew out of the drawer and embedded itself in the wall above his head. Blinking and staring at the fork for a moment, Joey whimpered and made a quick exit.  
  
"Oh, dear... You don't think he'd call the shadow realm, do you?" Yugi suddenly asked, yelping and hiding under the table as more cutlery flew around the room. Kaiba just stayed where he was, arms still folded, glaring at the opposite wall.  
  
"UNCHAIN ME RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SEND YOU ALL TO THE SHADOW REALM!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!" Yami yelled, and Kaiba rolled his eyes.   
  
"SHUT UP!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO COME UP THERE AND GAG YOU??" Kaiba snarled, glaring at the ceiling.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!" Yami roared from upstairs, and Yugi squeaked in fear as purple and black mist began to seep under the door. Kaiba just glared at it. He was in one of his 'glaring' moods, apparently.  
  
"Come on, we're going to stop him!" Yugi crawled out from under the table, dodged a few flying saucers, grabbed Kaiba's hand and dragged him out of the kitchen, avoiding the patches of shadow realm floating around the place. Honestly, sometimes living with Yami and Kaiba was like being trapped in an Indiana Jones movie.   
  
"Yami, stop that right now!" Yugi growled, opening the bedroom door and dragging Kaiba inside. Yami scowled, sat on the bed with one ankle chained to a bedpost, his hair even messier than usual and his cheeks flushed from his fever.  
  
"I took the damned medicine he gave me, now let me go!!" Yami demanded.  
  
"You didn't take it by choice," Kaiba smirked. Yugi glared at them both.  
  
"You have to rest so that you'll get better, Yami." Yugi explained, walking over to the bed and gently pushing his darker half down onto his back. Yami obediently lay down but still looked annoyed.  
  
"You expect me to stay here by myself for Ra knows how long, with nothing to do?" The dark spirit raised an eyebrow, folding his arms.  
  
"I have something for you to do." Kaiba smirked, coming up behind Yugi. Before the little duellist could even turn around, Kaiba picked him up and set him down on the bed, straddling Yami's hips. Yami smirked.   
  
"Wait-!" Yugi began, gasping as Kaiba moved onto the bed behind him and leant down to kiss the side of his neck. "Ahh... S-Seto..." Yugi's eyes slid closed as Yami sat up and kissed the other side of his hikari's throat.  
  
"I like this idea." Yami said evilly, and Kaiba nipped at his little lover's neck, pulling Yugi's shirt off over his head and throwing it to the floor.  
  
Much later that night, Yami and Kaiba lay on the bed with Yugi sleeping in between them, looking adorable. Kaiba stretched and yawned, the shifting motion causing Yugi to cuddle up to him, mumbling something that sounded like 'Yami, take your medicine,' in his sleep. Kaiba smirked and Yami scowled.  
  
"I did take it." He muttered.  
  
"After I forced it down you throat," Kaiba added, long fingers absently playing in Yugi's hair as the little duellist slept peacefully.   
  
"Shut up. When are you going to unchain me?" Yami demanded, glaring down at his ankle, which was still chained to the bedpost.  
  
"When I get around to it," Kaiba smirked wickedly.  
  
There, a fluffy little very strange one-shot for you. Review if you love me. 


End file.
